Dear Desiring Readers,

We all have wants and needs. They are our objects of desire. But have you ever examined why you have those wants and needs?

I did a very powerful exercise. I took my journal out and penned…

What do I want?

What do I need?

I repeated these questions line after line. Now, what this exercise does is invite clarity and courage to get real with your authentic self.

We all have objects of desire. Wants are our conscious objects of desire. They are external things that we set out to achieve. I want to lose weight. I want to get my law degree. I want a baby.

On the other hand, needs are our subconscious objects of desire. They are our secret internal world that not everyone is privy to see. They sit below the surface and they brew, they fester, they hunger, they percolate.

Some examples include:

I want to lose weight because I need to love myself and practice self-care. I need the sense of acceptance and belonging. Or my husband is always making comments about skinny women. And I need to prove to him that I can get back in shape. Maybe, he will love me more and stop making comments about skinny women.

I want a law degree because I need my dad’s approval. He is a lawyer, and I need to please him. I need his love and acceptance. Or I need to make a lot of money like my father did with his law degree to show him I got it in me. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I want a baby because I need to be the best mom. I didn’t have a nurturing mother, and I am going to be better than she was. Or people keep asking when I am going to get pregnant and I don’t want to tell them I really don’t want a child. That would sound selfish.

Now, all these are hypotheticals, but I am trying impress the point.

Why do you want certain things?

Have you considered the need behind the want?

Remember, our conscious minds can accept or reject. However, our subconscious mind can only accept and it has accepted our conditioning, programming, belief system, memories. The subconscious mind is responsible for our triggered feelings. When emotions come up, they are messages from your subconscious mind so you can pay attention and identify something.

I encourage you to get real, vulnerable, and transparent with yourself. Sit with a pen and journal…

What do I want?

What do I need?

This exercise will unveil deeper truths that want to come forth and bathe you in understanding, compassion, and acceptance. You are searching for an experience. You are inviting feelings into this experience.

You are worth it! You deserve the truth! I believe in you!

Wanting and needing,