Dear Day & Night Readers,
My husband gave me an incredible Christmas gift. A note appeared under the Christmas tree. Good for a massage and 2 nights, 3 days for myself. I smiled. It was something I truly desired. Time by myself to reflect over the 2014 year and plan the 2015 year with eagerness.
It’s truly amazing how much you can get done in a short period of time. I slept well. I ate great. I took naps. Got a chiropractor adjustment. No big cooking. No big cleaning. No laundry. No phone calls. It was a time to myself. A mini vacation. I wanted to honor the gift and honor my time. Respect my self-care.
And guess what? I started my novel. Yes, it’s time.
Usually for Christmas, I buy a gift for Pierre. I buy a gift for myself and address it with his name. It’s usually a book. I’m not asking for diamonds. But one year, he bought me this cutesy blue sweater. I cried. It wasn’t me. He didn’t get me. He doesn’t know who I am. I probably scared the hell out of this guy because the following year he bought me an expensive ring. Oh no, you spent too much. I didn’t need this. Oh, the drama. The wasted energy.
Pierre and I have been married almost twenty years. They have been ups and downs. Celebrations and tragedy. Sorrow and tears.
But how many times did I refuse a gift? How many times did I send the wrong message? Why can’t I just accept the gift? Do I have a hard time receiving? Or did I have unmet expectations?
Do you have a hard time receiving?
Do you have unmet expectations?
Oh, how they can cloud things. Create chatter in the mind. A discontent heart.
My heart overflowed with this simple, yet purposeful and intentional gift. Time to myself. Time for clarity. Time for healing.
Oh, the sweetness when I understand my patterns. Patterns that have come up over Christmas. Patterns that have been magnified in gift giving. Receiving. Unmet expectations bring clarity and healing. I’m humbled.
What was I searching for?
What was I truly yearning for?
Was it the gift?
Or was it the intimacy, the understanding, the acceptance?
Those characteristics were always there. It was me getting my heart and soul congruent and in sync with the real me. It had nothing to do with Pierre. He was teaching me more about myself. I awoke to the lessons of what my heart and soul was craving. As I let go of the false protection of ego, I embrace the divine spirit. And there I join… I unite with Pierre because we are truly one.
We are all one.
What does your heart yearn for?
What does your soul cry out for?
May you be willing to receive the beauty in those teachable moments. And let go of all the wasted energy of drama. Your needs are met. Everyone of them. May you open your eyes to see anew. What an amazing gift!