03 Nov THE SILENCE OF SHAME
Dear Loving Readers,
Well, first we have to get a clear definition on shame. Brené Brown does a wonderful job explaining the difference between guilt and shame. Shame is based on self. I am a bad person (person-focused.) Guilt emphasizes a behavior. I did something bad (behavior focused.)
I lived with shame. A shame identity bound in secrecy and silence. Afraid to speak. Events from my past haunted me. Things that I witnessed. Things that I experienced. Shame when Gabriel was born with Giant Pigmented Nevus. Maybe I am a bad person because I gave him the condition. If there is no known cause, then the cause must be me.
It was a vicious cycle that I lived in. And truthfully, I wasn’t aware of the impact it had on me and others. I lived with fear, anxiousness, and worry. My inner critic spoke volumes reinforcing those patterns immensely.
It was a pattern of self-hatred. Not being able to trust myself or others because of the hate within myself.
Shame stems from not being good enough. And it is correlated with self-destructive behavior of addictions, bullying, depression, suicide, eating disorders, and more. How I self-destructed!
When we live with shame, we disconnect from source, self, and others. It leaves us in a wobble posture. Tossed to and fro. Waves crashing on us.
When we move to higher frequency of courage, neutrality, and willingness, healthy change occurs. We can grieve shame and move forward to acceptance and love. And we can maintain connection.
Haven’t you beat yourself up enough? Self-hatred, self-contempt, self-criticism, survival, soul deadening… SHAME.
Can we move into a place of connection, compassion, change? A place of vulnerability and courage. A place of safety to be ourselves.
Can we disconnect from shame and connect to courage? Courage to be imperfect. Beautifully flawed in every way.
May you pick up pieces of your shattered heart and walk with your head held high. May you be clothed in garments of love and worthiness. May you listen to your heart and speak words of compassion. You deserve it because you are worth it.