25 Sep I CAN DO BETTER
Dear Seeking Readers,
Can you do better? Can you show up better?
Let’s play this out.
I asked Gabriel to babysit. Of course, he said, “Yes.” I laid out the instructions. I cooked the meal. Gabriel was in charge of feeding and walking the dog. Putting the dirty dishes in in the dishwasher. Taking a shower and making sure Lucas took a shower. And of course, tucking Lucas in bed by 8:30. It was a school night. Time to stay on schedule.
I came home at 10:30 p.m. and expected things to be in place, in order, in peace. I walked in to dirty dishes, food left on the counter, dog poo on the carpet, kids not bathed, kids not sleeping. In fact, they were roaming the house and Gabriel was playing video games. I was furious! Momma bear came out. “Everyone get in bed. What were you guys doing?” They both ran in there room and jumped into bed. And I continued to vent.
I walked in my bathroom and breathed. Then, I heard the faintest whisper from Spirit. I looked in my mirror and heard “You can do better.” And I agreed with the guidance of Spirit.
I made my way into Lucas’s bedroom. He was crying. Lucas shared, “Mom, you said that I could sleep in your bed tonight. Remember?” I nodded yes. He continued, “Well, Gabriel wouldn’t let me get in your bed. So, I stayed up and waited for you.” I hugged Lucas and comforted him. I understood Lucas’s point of view. We walked in my bedroom and I tucked him in my bed.
I opened Gabriel’s bedroom door and I sat next to him in bed. And then I wept. I didn’t plan on doing it. It just happened. And I uttered, “I can do better. I can do better. I can do better.” Gabriel held me tightly, and we wept together. It was a beautiful moment as Spirit orchestrated what must come… a healing. God had to heal me from the inside out as my soul cried out. It was God’s light that was going to shine in my darkness. It was a cry of my heart to bring God praise in that moment.
See, I had expectations. I wanted everything in place, in order, in peace. But expectations are a source of misery.
“The real thing is that you are suffering from your expectations. When they are not fulfilled — and they are never going to be fulfilled — frustration arises, failure arises, and you feel neglected, as if existence does not care for you. Drop expectations for the future. Remain open, remain available to whatsoever happens, but don’t plan ahead. Don’t make any psychological, fixed ideas about the future — that things should be like this — and much more suffering will disappear.” ~ Osho
Now, when I venture out and Gabriel’s babysits, I have no expectations. Of course, I have desires. But I learned that I can do better. And if I can do better, then I had to drop all expectations and realize that it is perfect in this present moment. And all we have is this very moment.
Can you do better?
Can you show up better?
Can you drop expectations?
Can you drop the needless suffering?
Can you create a space for Spirit to heal, whisper, and guide you to something truly glorious?