Dear Understanding Readers,
My husband headed out of town for three weeks. I asked, “Would you like sex before you go?” Pierre replied, “Oh baby, I rather we talk.” Surprised by his response.
However, this led to something magical in our marriage. Connection and Intimacy. Without getting naked. But by being vulnerable and transparent.
Bodies didn’t need to touch, because our minds connected into Oneness… Clarity… and Healing.
A Heart to Heart.
Pierre shared something amazing. He told me that I’m a wonderful mother. He doesn’t usually tell me that, but today he did. Pierre wanted me to Know… to Hear… to Believe.
A Love Note From My Husband
And I broke down crying.
See, my husband is reading my blogs. He’s learning so much about me. Seeing a side that I don’t always express. Today, he read, “CULINARY APPRECIATION… MY BOYS CAN EAT!”
Pierre expounded that “he is so proud of me.” All the lessons I’m learning. All the growth he is witnessing. All the limits are now limitless.
He said, “You are pouring so much into these boys. They may not appreciate all that you do. All that we do until there about 25-years-old. But one day, they will.”
I cried. He cried. We cried.
Pierre wished that his parents did better raising him. I wished my parents did better raising me. But we’re doing better raising our boys. That’s the reality and the beauty. Things can be better.
Yes, we fucked up, faltered, and fumbled along the way!
Mumford & Sons Concert
I’m sorry for polluting and desecrating my relationships. As Spirit heals my mind of unloving thoughts, unloving attitudes, and unloving behaviors towards the ones I love and towards myself, I’m changing and it’s amazing. We’re changing and it’s amazing.
Naked I stood, I shared my deepest fear as we held each other. Afraid of him dying, and I would have to raise these boys on my own. Asking for help from my parents.
Pierre impressed, ‘That’s he not going anywhere.” We wept. He said, “Jennifer, you don’t need me like you think you do. You are doing so well. Tackling your fears. Growing stronger and courageous. You’re an amazing, empowered woman. You don’t need any man by your side. You are all that on your own. You need to know that. You need to hear that from me.”
Pierre hugged me tightly, and we wept. Wept of connection… of intimacy… of time lost… of time gained.
He said, “It’s only going to get better. We’re getting better. We’re shifting.”
The universe is restoring the years that the locusts have stolen.
Our marriage is changing. We’re showing up better and different by choice. We’re changed by the comfort, the grace, and the guidance of Spirit.
He said, “You’re writings and blogs are beautiful. You’re healing, and you’re going to give others the ability to heal themselves. To be empowered. All your experiences are being used for a greater purpose… a greater good.”
Forgive me at times for disrespecting Pierre, not seeing his value. Forgive me when I focused on his humanness inside of his divineness. I married Pierre because I saw the divine in him… Full of kindness, gentleness, and compassion. These were the traits I needed to heal my broken heart, to heal my wounds, to return to soul and Spirit.
I want to show up balanced, whole, fully integrated. I want to express my love from a deep well of healing instead of a well of brokenness.
Pierre is the real deal. Over the past twenty years, Pierre has loved me when I was unlovable. Unlovable towards myself through loveless random acts. Showing me and teaching me how to love, how to stand on my own two feet, how to be empowered, how to be strong… and whom to trust. He was and is always here to Give… to Give… to Give. Forgive me when I sought to Get… to Get… to Get.
May I recognize his divine being in human form… showing me a kinder, gentler approach to life and living.
God has arranged us to come together for maximal growth. May we not lose heart of the opportunities before us.
I’ve been hard, cold, distant, resentful, and doubtful. My mind has been all over the place. My heart has strayed. Give me God new vision, new heart, new eyes to see anew… and the wonder of it all. Steady me. Yes steady me with your faithfulness. Cleanse my heart. Purify me. Embody me. Abide and rest in me. Calm me with your love.
Sometimes, we don’t need to get naked. Have sex. Make love. The vulnerability and transparency is so much powerful through connection and intimacy.
When was the last time you left your clothes on but stood naked and vulnerable in front of the one you love? Having that heart to heart. Pressing in when it was difficult.
When did you share your greatest fear? What is your greatest fear?
It’s not too late. It’s never too late to show up differently and authentically. May you press into the deep chambers of heart and soul.