Dear Forgiving Readers,

Do you forgive OR do you hold onto that bitterness that diminished your sweetness?

Let’s talk about forgiveness through my 8-year-old son. Lucas came in my office. He said “Mom. Some of my chocolate is missing. You ate it.” I questioned, “How do you know it was me?” Lucas added. “Because you love chocolate. I was saving a piece of chocolate for each night. And three pieces are missing.” I confessed this chocoholic did the crime. Lucas mentioned, “It feels like you are stealing from me.” I elaborated, “I’m sorry that you feel that way. We do have chocolate in the pantry and you are never ‘deprived.’” But something already took place in Lucas’s heart. I asked, “Will you forgive me?” Now, Lucas is quick to forgive but his perception is that I stole from him. I shared, “When you forgive someone, you don’t remember it anymore. You can’t bring it up again and again. It’s gone as far as the east is from the west.” Lucas listened but revealed, “I will have to think about it.”

I will have to think about it… All too often we let things creep in our heart and take root in our heart. By taking root in our heart, damage is being revealed. I have gone about my business. But Lucas still wants to seep in murky waters. He doesn’t know just yet. Because what if he wants to bring it up a week from now… six months from now?!

Forgiveness is really for you. It releases you. It frees you. It purifies your heart. There is a clean slate. You don’t have to mull over the issue. Forgiveness is not about the other person. We can act like they did something “bad” to us. But really that person had moved on with life. Issues have already taken root in your heart… the remembering, the unforgiving, the replaying, the judging.

In some cases, you can forgive someone but you don’t need to hang out with the person anymore, especially if they are not a heart-centered, amazing energy and high consciousness type of person.

In the “Heart of the Matter,” Don Henley sings:

“I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore”

Have you forgiven yourself from your negative self-talk, that critical spirit, your inner critic, the struggle, the needless suffering, the saboteur?

Have you looked in the mirror and wept over the years that the swarming locusts stole your joy?

Have you embraced compassion for yourself only to extend it to others?

In every situation, you have the power to choose. You have the power to make conscious choices. What have you decided?

I have forgiven myself. I have forgiven others from so call abuse whether it be conscious or unconscious. I have set myself free one shift at a time.

As Mother Teresa said, “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” May you choose love, forgiveness, growth. Set yourself free!

Loving and forgiving.