Dear Victorious Readers,
Are you notorious for beating yourself up? For not getting everything done on your “to do” list? Well, I can raise my hand and testify that was me. The inner critic would beat myself up and remind me of all the things that I didn’t get too. I would complain of the things that I didn’t get too and forget to celebrate the things that I did get too.
A different mindset was required. A shifting of perspective. I shifted from Guilt to Compassion with a new awareness and new understanding.
Once I delved into my subconscious mind to weed these destructive patterns from my garden, I could move forward with conscious awareness and create a lush, glorious garden. The old me lived in the realm and limits of the three ugly “C” patterns.
THE THREE UGLY “C” PATTERNS:
My critical voice was incessant, unending noise. Not constructive but truly harmful. When I criticize myself, there is something I don’t like about myself. When I criticize others, guess what? It really is about me anyway. A truth that reflects through the mirror of life. Our internal world is projected in our outer world. (The Mirror Analogy)
My complaining voice was insurmountable… invincible chatter that destroys the present moment. It evokes ungratefulness.
My controlling voice was insidious, inconspicuous, seeming harmless. But control isn’t care or unconditional love. It is do this because I say. It’s for my benefit, not your benefit. But truthfully, it doesn’t benefit either party.
So I would beat myself up for not getting enough done during the day. I would complain that I don’t have enough time or the kids take up my time or I don’t feel good. I would control more by doing more. The exact opposite of what I needed to be doing. Tears would occur. And guess what, I would pick right up from where I left off… to no avail. I was living in a survival mindset, not a thrive mindset. And my body became my dump truck of emotions.
The sabotage patterns robbed me of pure joy. I lived with guilt. I was my own prisoner. Enslaved to self-limiting beliefs. Shackled to negative thoughts. Stuck in the daily grind of not enjoying life.
The new me had to make a choice… to deliberately create new patterns and new thoughts. It’s a daily process, not a one-shot deal. But it’s worth the evolution to a gentler, kinder way of living. And I discovered life-affirming patterns.
My compassionate voice switched from Guilt to Compassion. Compassion for myself. Compassion by practicing self-care. Compassion for others. Compassion for a healthier mindset. No one could give me a new mindset. I had to discover it myself. And thanked God because the universe thrilled me with unlimited possibilities.
My grateful voice became music to my ears. An intoxicating sweetness! When I wake up and before I go to bed, I give thanks. At first, I came up with an arbitrary number of listing five things that I’m grateful for. I thought it would become rote. But I was truthfully overflowing with joy because my list expounds and is new every morning and new every night. My awareness has increased. I don’t want to miss these moments. I want to savor them. I’ve already missed too much. Now, I’m redeeming the time.
My celebratory voice enjoyed the possibilities of the day. For instance, I cooked, ran errands, bought Gabriel new shoes, cleaned Lucas’s closet, walked the dog, meditated, wrote a blog, edited a screenplay, made some phone calls, answered some emails, and read a chapter of a book. Those snippets are sufficient for the day. Nothing to add. Nothing to delete. It was a perfect day!
What patterns do you practice? Are you aware of your sabotaging patterns? Maybe, they are the three ugly “C” patterns. Maybe you have some other patterns that come to the surface.
You are so worth more. I encourage you to venture into discovery and exploration on your adventure of life. May you clothe yourself in loveliness and worthiness. May you let go of the shackles of guilt… the shackles of the “to do” list. May you hear the sweetness that intoxicates through the nectar of gratefulness. May you celebrate your life.
Go plant your lush, glorious garden!!! I can’t wait to see it!